Just Another Guy Trying Not To Be Just Another Guy

I need to write this down, maybe everything will be a bit easier.

We left and said goodbye in May last year, after living in the same house and going to the same school for a year. I was heartbroken, because I lost some of my closest friends that day. I live on the other side of the country, which makes distance my worst enemy.

We talked on skype and facebook. Sometime before christmas, I suddenly out of nowhere started to get stronger feelings for her. Before the reunion thing in january, me and my friends naturally started to contact each other like crazy. She called and we talked a lot, it was really great and I could barely stop talking. When we finally met again, it was pretty strange and amazing at the same time. I was stressed out by some other stuff, so we didn’t spend too much time together, but still decent amount of time still. She also asked me something I didn’t expect at all. It made me think. When we said goodbye, I felt terrible. Her smile was incredibly beautiful.

Now I can’t stop thinking about her, it’s crazy. Everything is confusing. I don’t want to fuck up a good friendship, so I’m laying low. However I fear nothing will matter because distance will fuck up everything anyways. I kind of don’t want to see her again, because I may say something stupid and mess up everything. This means the end of our friendship, but yet again distance may do that for me. I sure as hell won’t tell her how I feel, because that would be fucking stupid. I feel trapped.

Sorry I needed to get that out of my head. I’m terrible at explaining anyways.